It's interesting how we contemplate on ourselves and what is more astounding is where we do it . Right now , we are on our way from Cincinnati to Paris and then to Aberdeen. Sleep has just lost track of me and I'am wandering in the corridors of some Spanish music and random thoughts . Honestly feeling sensual about myself and life . Maybe it is the music ,maybe it's my sexy sitting next to me and provoking the most naughty thoughts in me :) I honestly don't care, because I feel good . It is definitely not the most smooth flight ..rocking as hell and I have this cute 12 odd year boy sitting diagonally to my left. He will surely grow up to be a handful and handsome one . Flipping through,movies and music , he has his night well planned out .
The coming week is gonna be maddening for sure . Family and kids will suck the energy from me , but iam ready for it . Looking forward to it . I wish mom and dad were there too , but I understand the pretext of this trip . Hopefully there won't be any the next time .
My reading has slowed down terribly ..I must and need to pick up the crumbs on that one . I did finish 2 books so far ,but not good enough . Sachin has tried his best to get me to start reading fantasy , but no luck so far . Iam not convinced yet that I'am ready for fantasy . Hopefully that will turn around soon .
It is surprising how music can be a stimulant . To thoughts , moods , ambiance are just some of it , what is more interesting is , it brings them in waves and you could sit by and feel each one of them engulf you .
Sachin and I were having this interesting conversation yesterday about what is right / wrong morally . It does force you to speculate into yourself and see the layers within yourself as you peel through the discussion and keep an open window to the thoughts and talk . It's truly 50 shades of grey ! Sachin truly works on an OS model ! Well as long as you have something working for you . It was the flip of the button for me on that Saturday . I will say it was life changing in many ways for me . The curtains are drawn and the stage is set . Let the good times roll. I cannot bundle myself into the infinite loop of self doubt . It took me no where. A self destructive black hole .
I ask myself , what is going through my mind. The answer is blank..well , watching house of cards has been subconsciously playing on my mind . The complexity of the human mind , the need and hunger for power , control , the beast within demanding for the physical needs which are not intimate by definition but more the hunger of a ravaging monster. Was it a raw picture of who we really are ? Something we are not ready to accept or conveniently shove under the carpet to forget? Almost makes me believe , we come alone into this world and we naturally do everything possible to be that way . Infact the sane part of a human is the work to be done . Constantly judged and measured by the Barometer of goodness / being sane . It feels like it is the light which keeps a check on the darkness . Or the other-way ? Depends on what you interpret as "light". The more brains around , the more subjective .
I have 2 hours to kill and my body is revolting right now . Not in terms of sleep ,but every other possible way . Let's see..gotta do something .thinking about going for a walk..all I see around are night blinds and weird sleep positions . I pity about their neck , but there is only that much you can do in an economy seat .
Every time my mind is idle , deepu's thoughts flood all over . I miss him so much. Words cannot even begin to express them . I see his friends and think what he would have accomplished about this time and what he would be looking forward to . If only he had a chance . I know for sure that he is there somewhere . I have dream't of him as a child playing in a park somewhere , looking up to me in a blue shirt and matching shorts . Those sparkling eyes is all I seek for .
1 hr 38 mins . Time is crawling here. Not a big fan of sitting up awake when everyone around me is catching a wink . Well , my cute 12 year old neighbor is still up . Poking around a game on his iPad . Beyond comprehension . Honest confession . To make things worse , my touch screen is frozen and the overhead light is on ! ANNOYING !! Well gonna stretch my legs now and hit the bathroom shortly . The landing prep has begun .
Adios !
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